We all know that death is an inevitable part of life. We also know that fear often comes from a lack of understanding and yet we avoid learning and talking about it for fear that death will sense an invitation and draw near. Not talking about death does not prevent it. It only prevents our wishes from being expressed and known. We all long for a good death but do little to define that for ourselves. What does it mean to you to have a good death?  What are your hopes and fears? What trade-offs are you willing to make and not willing to make? What would it take to make you feel more comfortable caring for a loved one at home? I can help you explore these questions and more and offer practical and meaningful support as you experience your own dying process or that of a loved one.

 As a child, the person I cherished most, was my grandmother, Blanche. She loved me fiercely and unconditionally. I was only 22 years old when I crawled into the hospital bed beside her and held her for hours until she took her final breaths after I made the very difficult decision to remove her life support. There are many details that I can’t recall from that time, but I can remember in addition to feeling such tremendous grief that I also felt immense gratitude that I could be in that space with her and see her out of this life. I have no doubt that that moment changed my relationship with death and dying. I was able to take what I learned from that experience and support my father in the final days of his life, a much different experience as he was able to be at home. That was my first experience with hospice care. While I have so much appreciation for what hospice was able to offer, there were gaps, and at times, I found myself feeling ill-equipped and alone. Since that time, I have committed myself to increasing my knowledge and understanding of death, the dying process, and how to support both the dying and those who love them.

 Professionally, I have worked for the past 25+ years in the non-profit field supporting and advocating for individuals with disabilities and their families including co-founding a local non-profit, The Village Community. I am familiar with how systems work (or often don’t work) and am comfortable and skilled at navigating situations where there are multiple and complex needs and occasionally conflicting interests. I earned my Death Doula certification from Lifespan Doula in 2022 and completed training in Advanced Care Planning in 2023. I am also a certified meditation teacher through the Chopra Institute.

 How can I help? As a certified Death Doula, I can help you…

·       Explore your goals for living and dying well.

·       Explore your understanding of your illness and discuss goals for treatment including the risks and benefits. I can help you identify fears and concerns, both medical and non-medical for living with this illness and dying from this illness.

·       Complete Advanced Care Planning (ACP) documents that will clearly define your wishes and identify someone you trust to advocate that your wishes be honored if or when you are not able to make decisions for yourself.

·       Provide respite to caregivers who might need a temporary break.

·       Help with vigil planning and support.

·       Provide assistance with postmortem care and logistics.

 Any financial contribution that you are able to make allows me to offer my support to all regardless of resources and is greatly appreciated. Dying well, with dignity and grace, should not be a privilege but a right for everyone.

Education: B.A. from the University of Iowa 1998

Certifications: Death Doula certification from Life Span Doula and NEDA Proficient

Certified Meditation Teacher through the Chopra Institute Respecting Choices Advance Care Planning 

Professional Memberships: National End of Life Doula Association (NEDA)

International End of Life Doula Association (INEDA)

Contact: annmb918@gmail.com